A New Years’ ritual that my family has established is taking a family (road) trip to somewhere together. This typically happens on the first few days of January, and this year it was no different. This is a time of the year that I look forward to immensely, not only because we would be getting out of the house, but more importantly because I’d get to spend time with my family while sharing experiences and having fun.
Just as shared experiences are important for friendships and relationships, it is also important for family. After all, your family are the people who are just as prominent in your life. Traveling with family is a whole new dynamic to traveling with friends. You bond with your friends over being in the same circle of people, having experienced similar stages in life, or having a common ground. With family, we are kind of just bunched together because we bleed the same blood. So what makes family so special?
Family has always been something I have valued. Not because I have the perfect family, but because they have been the constants in my life. No one knows my life experiences - good or bad - the way my family does (safe to say because they are often the ones putting me through these experiences). They know the things I’ve been through and often have shared the same experiences. Yet no matter how I’ve reacted they have always been supportive and understanding. They have created a space where I feel free to be, free to feel and free to express without being judged. It hasn’t always been this way, and it doesn’t come without work. We definitely have our ups and downs but the important part is how we overcome it and form a deeper bond from it.
Now back to this annual ritual thing. This year was a bit different as it was the first time I have had to plan it on my own. As much as I like planning things usually, when it comes to traveling, it is stressful. With the drowsiness, expectations, and all the things that could go wrong, the trip has amplified some of the unglamorous sides of traveling. It’s made me realise that the role of family is multi-dimensional, and we often forget the fact that our family members are normal people just like ourselves. We have been given almost a front row seat in their lives but it’s not meant to be a free pass. It is up to us to maintain this relationship, just as we would with any other relationship in our life.
Virigina Woolf’s novel To the Lighthouse does a great job of highlighting conflicts that can happen on a family holiday. While my fifteen-year-old self never actually finished reading the novel, a huge takeaway was that the destination doesn’t matter nearly as much as the journey. So it doesn’t matter to me whether in the end the Ramsay family reached the lighthouse, I cared more about the journey they had undertaken to get there. With the lighthouse as a symbol of many things, for me it meant a state of content and security. We are all on our own journey to the lighthouse, but it’s important to remember to make the most of the journey there as well.
With that, I wish you an enjoyable journey ahead in 2022. Hope that you will eventually reach the lighthouse, whatever it may look like to you.
Love,
C x
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